Im not your friend guy original12/10/2023 Start by telling your friend why this convo is important to you. Getting the conversation started can be the hardest part! If this isn’t the case, think about meeting up face-to-face. Can you do it over text?īe honest: do you want to do it over text because it’s easier, or does it actually make sense for your friendship? If your main form of communication is texting and you’re used to having in-depth conversations over text, then go for it. You might try to avoid having the conversation at a time when it will spoil a special occasion for them, such as around their birthday or before an exam. You could ask your friend to meet you at a specific time and place for a talk, so that you don’t just spring it on them.Īlso consider that it may come as a shock to the person. A bit of privacy, and somewhere neutral where you both feel comfortable, will help ease any nerves. The place and time of the conversation are important. You could show what you’ve written to someone else you trust, such as a sibling, parent or another friend. Instead, try this: ‘I feel hurt that we don’t hang out at my house.’ Statements that begin with ‘you’, such as ‘You never come to my house’, can seem like a personal attack so your friend might get defensive. Using ‘I’ statements is an effective way to communicate your feelings. Writing down what you want to say can help clarify your thoughts. Before you chat, you could even let your friend know that you’re a bit nervous and would really appreciate it if they were patient with you. If you’re not a fan of confrontation (honestly, who is?!), the following steps will help you feel a bit more comfortable with talking about issues with your friend. Do you want to clear up a miscommunication, address an old argument or grudge, or set boundaries? Whatever it is, make sure it’s clear in your mind before you and your friend meet to talk. Don't close your eyes.Before you do or say anything, think about what you want to achieve from this chat. One mold does not fit everyone- a relationship should be an evolving process. Ideally your partner should pretty much be your best friend if it so happens that you prefer to hang out, have sex, and do whatever else you'd like on the side without the usual relationship commitments, then so be it. The concept of a traditional relationship doesn't need to be your "style"- not everyone needs rigid social constraints (time, friends, partners, etc). Some of the more rewarding "relationships" I had were more like "**** buddy" situations where we were good friends (and then some). If the friendship wasn't meant to be (or last) then it won't prolonging the inevitable isn't the upstanding thing to do.Īlso, be aware that the general societal construct of a "relationship" doesn't actually have to be your way of carrying out one. He may or may not stay around-that's life. Be honest and everything will work out in the end. Both of you need to be adults and talk to each other directly about how you feel (no texts, emails, etc. Don't act like you're in high school (I'm assuming you're not). To be quite frank, I would stop all this message by proxy crap. My advice probably isn't suited for your age group, but hell, who doesn't like to pontificate on the Internet.
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